FIC: What You Could Do (With an Eternity)

Title: What You Could Do (With an Eternity)
Author: albydarned
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Summary: All legends spring from some truth, no matter how obscure or distant; Jared and Jensen find that out the hard way.
Disclaimer: Jensen and Jared own themselves, as do any other persons named in this work of fiction.
Warnings: There are vampires (yes, I'm serious *winks*) in this work of fiction. Vampires, bloodplay, hot man-on-man sex. You have been warned.
Author's Note: Beta-fu props to xtinethepirate, who just let my imagination run wild with this idea, even though she now thinks I'm completely and totally insane. *hugs*



“Vampires? I thought there was no such thing …”

Jensen can still taste those words on his lips, a line he had spoken himself – what? Seven months ago now? – with Jared sitting at his side, Jeff leaning heavily against the Impala’s door. Vampires. At the time, it had been the funniest damn thing ever; seven or eight takes of nothing but the sound of their laughter. Jensen remembers the way Jared tipped his head back as he laughed, back against the black leather seat, throat exposed and bared. He remembers thinking about how perfect Jared’s throat was, and how they were lucky as fuck that vampires didn’t really exist because that long, tan column would just be way too tempting for any bloodsucker.

Jensen’s jarred from his thoughts as Jared rolls around restlessly on the single bed of the hotel room that they’re staying in. Jensen can’t really pronounce the name of the town they’re in – Jared’s the only one out of them with a passable knowledge of Spanish – but nothing else matters to him except that they stay as far away from Vancouver and the States as possible, far away from family and obligations.

It hurts him to know that neither of them will probably ever see their families or friends again – Jensen misses his siblings something fierce already, and his fingers ache to call them on a cell phone that he trashed over a month ago – but they can’t risk it. Not anymore … it’s too dangerous.

Jared’s eyes snap open instantly, unnervingly quick, as though he went from deep slumber to full alertness in the blink of an eye. He instantly turns and fixes his gaze on Jensen, eyes glittering dangerously in the semi-darkness of the room. For a long moment, neither of them speak, unable or unwilling to break the steady gaze between them. Finally, Jensen forces himself to look away, coughing and speaking a little forcefully, voice rough. “It’s about six, Jared. Sun’ll be down in about an hour, hour and a half.”

“Sounds good,” Jared replies, rolling – more like gliding – out of bed, up on his feet as though he wasn’t passed out more than five seconds ago. Jensen still can’t get over that, how Jared Padalecki, once the textbook definitely of clumsy and awkward has changed into this graceful being. Sometimes he gets the urge to just push him over, try to make him trip up, do something so that he can remind himself that it’s still really Jared and not … and not …

Vampires.

“You’ve got the Sam-face on again,” Jared says somewhat light-heartedly, an ongoing joke between the two of them since the first day of shooting, when Kripke had affectionately nicknamed any expression that conveyed sadness or angst to be the Sam-face, no matter who was supposed to be acting it out. “What are you thinkin’ about?”

Jensen doesn’t answer. There doesn’t really seem to be a point, not anymore. Jared can’t help the situation any more than he can; the best they can do is keep running, hide themselves well enough so that no one will ever be able to find them. Sometimes, Jensen mentions trying to find others, see how many of them are out there. But Jared seems reluctant, stalling and stammering before flat-out telling Jensen – every time – that he’s not ready for that yet. That he still needs to adjust.

“I see,” Jared goes on saying, as though Jensen had said everything he’d just been thinking out loud; who knows, maybe he did? Or maybe Jared’s got some weird sort of psychic powers on top of that freakish gracefulness and a brute strength that Jensen can never hope to compete with. “Jen, man, I know you’re freaked. You can always leave, you know … I’ll be fine –”

“I’m not leaving you, Jared, and that’s it.” Said firmly, with no room left for argument. Between the two of them, Jared’s definitely the strongest, even without all of his new, seriously-creepy skills, but that doesn’t mean that he’d ever go against Jensen when he’s using that sort of commanding tone. He just clams up instead, sitting back down on the bed, folding his hands in his lap and looking down.

Jensen sighs; Jared’s emotions were never the most stable – not that his have ever been, by any means – but they’ve been crazy, going up and down at the drop of a hat, ever since … “Look, Jared, I’m just saying that it’s you and me in this, right? I wouldn’t leave you, okay? Don’t worry about that … it’s not like I’d have anything to go back to anyways.” Without you remains unsaid, but both of them hear it nonetheless.

“Sure you do,” Jared counters, looking up with shining eyes, biting his lip nervously, a single drop of blood forming momentarily before being licked away by an overly-eager tongue. “You’ve got your family, Jen. Your career. You don’t have to throw that all away just because of me.”

They’ve had this argument before. From screaming to crying and even fist-fighting once (Jensen woke up in the hospital after that one, and Jared still gets that same haunted look in his eyes every time he raises his voice with the older man, as though he’s terrified he’ll hurt him like that again), they’ve been through it all. And in the end, it stays the same; Jensen stays. Hell, he’s pretty sure that if he ever gave in and agreed to leave, Jared would get down on his knees and beg him not to go. The stupid son of a bitch was stubborn, but when it comes right down to it, Jensen’s one-hundred fucking percent sure that Jared needs him just as much as he … as he needs Jared.

“Jay … look, man, I’ve got a headache,” Jensen says, rubbing a hand across his forehead to back up his statement, glancing at Jared through lowered eyelashes. “Can we not do this tonight? I don’t feel like going through eight rounds with you.”

Jared just looks away, then back down at his hands, heaving a deep sigh. “Yeah, sure. Okay,” he says in a tone that is heavily-laced with contempt, as though he thinks he might’ve won the argument – this time – had he kept it up. “So, what’s the plan for tonight then, Jen? We hittin’ up the library?”

There’s a lot of things Jensen is thankful for, and among other things (including meeting Jared, which has become both his biggest blessing and greatest curse), filming Supernatural taught the both of them how to research, where to look for the most obscure books and most arcane texts in dusty archives that haven’t been looked at in decades. Most of their nights are just like that; they’ve managed to find some surprisingly good information so far, met up with a few contacts who were more than willing to remain anonymous, even picked up a real charm necklace for Jensen (which doesn’t weigh as much as Dean’s charm had, but is still comforting nonetheless) which keeps Jared from wanting to snack while they’re sleeping.

“Nah, figure we’d head to one of those clubs I saw on the drive in,” Jensen replies, leaning back on the stiff wooden chair in the corner of the cheap room, near the door and the busted air-conditioner. “It’s been a few days, Jared, and you’re starting to look like crap.”

“Not like I can tell,” Jared throws back at him, purposely not meeting his gaze. Turns out that a lot of the lore out there on vampires is true, Jensen’s come to find, which is a lot different than it was on the show. For instance, vampires have no reflection. In anything … they can’t even have their pictures taken. Plus, vampire fangs are always there, but thankfully, they’re small, easy to hide unless you’re looking for them specifically.

And, not-so-luckily, vampire hunters also exist. They’re no Buffys, at least, as far as either Jared or Jensen have been able to find out so far, but they do know their shit, and Jensen dreads the day that they actually run into one of them. He’s started to carry a gun with him, tucked into a holster strapped to his calf, just in case. They haven’t figured out what all kills vampires yet – sunlight hurts like hell, but it doesn’t cause a spontaneous, fire-ball death either – but Jensen sure knows that a bullet will take out any regular Joe human.

“Man, Jared, what’s with you today?” Jensen finally asks, acting as though he hasn’t been adrift in his own thoughts for the better part of the day himself, as though he hasn’t been sleeping himself, peeking cautiously out of the dingy windows of the room, counting down the minutes until sunset so they could just get out. He gets up, stalking across the room, standing tall in front of Jared, arms crossed. “Seriously, you’ve been pouting ever since we left Navojoa. What gives?”

“It’s nothing,” Jared replies, speaking too quickly, and you’d think he’d never been an actor the way he lies so horribly. Jensen squashes the urge to turn around and sigh at a camera that isn’t even there and do something crazy, hoping to see it make the blooper reel. Outtakes of the lives of Jared and Jensen, the Undead Years. Jensen’s sure it’d make a few bucks on Amazon.

The thought it enough to bring a weak smile to his lips, one that Jared shares with him despite not having a clue what Jensen’s thinking about (unless that whole psychic thing is actually true, in which case … Jensen doesn’t really want to think about it). “Come on, Jared, you have to spill, man,” Jensen says as he slumps down on the bed next to his friend, wrapping a warm, heavy arm across Jared’s shoulders and pulling the other man closer to him, against him. “You and me, right? This thing … we’re both in it together.”

“No, we’re not,” Jared says, saying the words slowly, as though – and this would probably be a first for him, knowing the way Jared’s so liable to just shoot off at the mouth – he’s thinking about what he’s going to say before saying it. As though this is something that’ll really drive something between them … Jensen doesn’t care. Nothing’s scared him off yet, and nothing’s going to. “I mean, Jen … this is it for me. We’ve done the research, we’ve talked to people … if there was a cure, man, we would have found it by now.”

“You don’t know that,” Jensen replies, shaking his head, turning so that he can look Jared right in the eye. “It’s only been four months, Jay. Vampire lore goes back millennia, okay? There’s no way we’ve found everything there is to know.”

“All we’ve found, Jensen, is a bunch of the same stuff repeated over and over again,” Jared says irritably, holding up his hand, ticking off items on each finger as Jensen stares. “Sunlight, mirrors, garlic, bloodlust … it’s all there. Every time. But there’s never been anything saying how to reverse it.”

“What about coffins? Or, um, dead man’s blood?” Jensen says, grasping for straws as he also reaches for Jared’s hand, pulling it close to his chest and holding it against his heart. “There’s a lot of bogus crap out there too that we’ve found. You just have to stay positive, okay? We’ll find an answer, I promise.”

Jared curls his hand into a fist in Jensen’s shirt, pulling the smaller man closer to him with an arm wrapped around his waist, his head tucked into the nape of Jensen’s neck. And yeah, Jensen knows that with his charm on, Jared doesn’t feel any sort of hunger or inclination to bite him, but at the same time … he’s always wondered. Wondered what it would feel like to have those sharp, tiny fangs buried deep into his neck, drawing blood out of him. Wondered what it would look like to see crimson stains on Jared’s lips.

He knows that he shouldn’t want that, but still … you live with one of these things for a few months, you start to get curious. Especially whenever Jared goes out for one of his dinners and comes home so hard he could cut through steel with a dangerous look in his eyes that never fails to twist Jensen’s stomach into tight little knots.

“Or maybe,” Jensen continues, voice hitching as Jared’s mouth opens over his pulse point, tongue coming out to lick at the skin there slowly. “Maybe we could find some more v-vampires, dude –” Jensen hates that he still can’t say the word without stuttering or laughing, but damn it. Vampires. “I mean, who would know more about being like … like this than people who already are?”

Jared pulls away quickly, spit cooling rapidly on Jensen’s neck. He tries to pull out of Jensen’s grip, and even though he’s far stronger than the other man, Jensen’s learned how to make himself stick to the giant, wrapping arms and legs around Jared until the other man can no longer move. But he can still glare at Jensen, and boy, is he ever doing that.

“You can go ahead and say it, Jensen,” Jared spits out, using a tone that Jensen had never heard him use until this happened … hell, before this, Jensen wasn’t even sure if Jared had the ability or capacity to get this angry. “Come on, say it! I’m a vampire, Jen. I’m fucking dead, and I drink blood and I can’t go outside during the day because it hurts me. I –”

“All right already, I get your point,” Jensen cuts in, ignoring Jared’s pointed warning growl, petting the other man on his arm absently in an attempt to calm him down. “And I don’t say it because I know that you’re still not okay wit it, Jay. I mean, I can’t blame you, but still … it’s been four months. And I hate to say it, but just because our families and Vancouver won’t find us doesn’t mean that real hunters won’t either. And we’re pretty much sitting ducks like this … I’m just saying it would be better if we found more vampires,” finally, said without a stutter or a pause, and Jensen would be proud of himself if Jared wasn’t shaking in anger next to him, “for protection. Just for awhile, Jared, then we could leave again.”

“You don’t get it,” Jared says, voice low and dangerous, eyes not meeting Jensen’s. “You just don’t fucking understand.” He looks up, snagging Jensen’s gaze and holding it, tears glittering in his preternaturally-bright eyes. “Jen … do you have any idea how much I want to find more people like me? Do you have any idea how scared I am that something bad’s gonna happen to you? Because you’re harboring a vampire, Jensen … I don’t think that hunters are going to smile kindly on that, just because I used to be your friend.”

“You still are my friend, Jared,” Jensen says, voice shocked. Jared’s never … never even indicated before that he wanted to meet more like him, that he wanted to catch up with a coven or group or whatever a group of vampires call themselves. “And why didn’t you tell me that you wanted to find others? We could have been looking for that, instead of researching the same stuff over and over. Think about it, Jared … they probably know so much more than those old books ever could.” Jensen’s starting to feel excited, because yeah, he’s friends with Jared – and not that he’ll ever admit it, but he loves the fucker, too – but after months and months with no other company, even Jared’s started to grate on him occasionally, and Jensen’s sure that the feeling is mutual. (In some ways, he has a lot more respect for Sam and Dean on the show now than he ever did before, but there’s no show anymore and Sam and Dean no longer exist, thanks to him and Jared.)

“That’s not the point, Jen,” Jared says, sounding defeated, relaxing into Jensen’s grip instead of fighting it. “I can … I can sense it, I guess … whenever we get close to a group of them, I can tell. There’ve been more than you would think; at least ten, ever since we left Canada.” Jared sighs. “I didn’t know what it meant at first, not until New Mexico, when we talked to that sage. She told me … she told me that …” Jared trails off, looking down again, biting his lip until the blood runs, only this time, he doesn’t lick it clean, just lets it trail down his chin and drip onto Jensen’s jeans.

“What did she tell you, Jared?” Jensen prompts, grabbing Jared’s chin, smearing the blood there obscenely as he turns his friend’s face back towards him. “Tell me, man. No secrets, remember?”

“She told me that covens won’t allow humans inside,” Jared whispers, tears finally falling down his cheeks, mixing with the blood on his chin. “Hunters are really dangerous, she said, and vampires won’t take the risk of letting a human stay with them. If any human tries to enter, they kill them, no questions asked.” Jared sighs. “That’s why I’ve been trying, Jen, trying so hard to keep us away from the groups. Because if they found us, if we came across one of them … they might kill you, Jensen. They might kill you, and that would kill me.”

Jensen stays quiet for a long time, letting Jared’s face go, turning away so he can process all of that information. Jared never told him any of that, and part of Jensen is upset, because they agreed, months ago, when Jared showed up at his house in the middle of the night, crying and covered in blood and so fucking confused he could barely remember his own name, that they wouldn’t keep any secrets from each other. Not when those secrets could mean the different between life and a sticky, painful end. But all the same, Jensen understands why Jared wouldn’t have told him, because of how Jensen would take it.

“Guess that means one thing, then,” Jensen says slowly, hands shaking just a little against Jared’s cool skin. “Jared, we can’t risk getting caught by hunters. They’d kill you, they’d kill me … we can’t take that chance.” Jensen tilts his head to the side pointedly, ignoring Jared’s gasp and too-wide eyes. “You have to do it, man.”

“Jesus, Jensen,” Jared whispers, managing (just barely) to extricate himself from the older man’s grasp, over on the other side of the room before Jensen can even blink. Jensen is suddenly glad for the still-visible sun shining in through the heavily-draped windows in the room; otherwise, he’s sure that Jared would run away from him, leave him in this hotel room and never come back. He knows how terrified Jared still is about all of this, but in Jensen’s mind, it’s almost stupid not to do it. They’ve been dancing around it for four months now, and he’s known the entire time that there’s no going back.

“I can’t,” Jared says, voice trembling, still crying, and Christ, but Jensen hates to see Jared cry. Hates it more than anything else, because really … he’d never known anyone nicer than Jared Padalecki before in his life. And to have such a horrible, terrible thing happen to such a good person; it’s made Jensen doubt a lot of things that he used to believe in so faithfully. The only thing he can honestly say he believes in anymore is Jared, and really, that’s good enough for him. “Jensen, you don’t know what you’re asking, okay? You don’t … you don’t want this.”

Jensen tips his head back, and smiles weakly, not getting up, hoping like hell that he can convince Jared to come back to him. “Jared, I’m not going to lie to you, okay? I don’t really want this … but fuck, man, neither did you. No one asks for these things to happen to them, they just do, and you do what you can with what you’ve got.” Jensen points out at the door to the room, giving Jared a pointed look. “Jared, there are hunters out there, and the both of us … we’re ex-actors who used to play hunters on TV. There’s no way we can compete with those guys out there; we don’t even know what to expect. We can’t go home, and we can’t keep going like this. You have to do it, Jared, you have to.”

Jared shakes his head, doesn’t take a single step forward, and Jensen sighs. They’ve only had this particular discussion once, the night that this entire thing started between them, the night that they both were forced to give up their lives and everything that they had ever known.

Jensen had been sleeping fitfully that night. It was towards the tail-end of their summer hiatus, and there were script sheets laying all over the floor, come covered in pizza sauce stains from the dinner that he and Jared had shared that night, going over lines for the premiere. Jared had promised Jensen that he would spend the night – they had been doing that more and more as their start date loomed closer ahead, using any excuse they had to just be lazy and lay around all day – but he had needed to duck out for a little bit, run home, get a few things, give Sandy a call and let her know that no, I ain’t goin’ down to see her, Jen … I’m gonna be here with you, okay?

A few hours had gone by since then. Jensen had called Jared a couple dozen times since then, but every time, he was clicked over to voicemail. It was a particular sore-spot between the two friends-turned-lovers that Jared still was maintaining his relationship with his girlfriend. Jensen understood why Jared was doing it; it wasn’t like either of them could really risk coming out, and a single man in their business is like prey for the media (Jensen understood that metaphor all too well). Jared wasn’t the sort of person to keep someone dangling like that, he wasn’t really, but Sandy had been fine with having an open relationship with Jared when he broached the topic with her, even though that open relationship was less and less like a relationship as the long summer break went by and Jared spent more and more time with his co-worker.

But, regardless, Sandy wasn’t always cool with the situation, and sometimes, she needed to vent. And those conversations – Jensen knew from experience – could last upwards of five to six hours. So, it wasn’t exactly out of place for Jared to get sidetracked by Sandy, and Jensen kept reassuring himself that Jared would be there, sooner or later, probably a little irritated and ready to drink some beers and have a good time between the sheets.

Still … something felt off. Jensen hadn’t been able to catch more than a handful of minutes of sleep when he heard his doorbell ring – six times – just after four thirty in the morning. He was out of bed like a shot, trying to convince himself (and his racing heart) that nothing was wrong, that everything was fine and good, that Jared was probably upset and just needed some time to chill.

The sight that greeted him when he opened the door is one that Jensen knows will forever haunt him in his nightmares. Jared was standing there, a large and still-bleeding wound on his throat, blood on his lips and his chin, tears falling down his cheeks and dripping onto Jensen’s sidewalk. He was leaning heavily against the door frame, entire body shaking uncontrollably, and in the dim light of the street lamps just down the way, Jensen could make out the faint glint of small, sharp fangs in Jared’s open mouth.

Jensen still doesn’t remember exactly what happened in the minutes between opening his front door and being with Jared in his master bathroom; his next memory is of stripping Jared of his bloodstained clothes and drawing a bath, his mind a complete blank, unable to fathom what had happened to his best friend. Jared, it seemed, was catatonic, and hadn’t stopped shaking.

Neither of them said anything until Jensen turned around, catching his reflection in the bathroom mirror … and not seeing Jared there at all. It had taken several double-checks – looking back at Jared, then back to the mirror, repeat, repeat, repeat – and when it finally hit him, really hit him, he sat down heavily on the closed toilet, his head in his hands as he fought the urge to throw up.

It had taken him a while to gather his thoughts, to pick himself back up. He washed Jared’s body mechanically, trying not to pay any attention to his overly-cool skin, the way his eyes looked brighter than they had just a few hours before, the fucking fangs in his mouth. Jensen had been forced to change the water twice in order to finish cleaning Jared up, and then he packed his friend away in one of the spare sets of sweats that the younger man had left around the house a few weeks back, and put him to bed.

Jared still hadn’t said a word yet, but Jensen couldn’t make himself stop. He started asking questions – what happened? How? Who? – but Jared wouldn’t answer. And then, in a moment of sheer impulsiveness, one he still looks back on with extreme embarrassment, he offered his neck to Jared.

Jared’s first words – a little awkward around the slightly-longer teeth in his mouth – had been no, Jensen, no. He’d curled himself around Jen so tightly that night that the older man had scarcely been able to breathe, and come nightfall (after discovering that Jared wasn’t able to stand out in the direct sunlight for more than a few seconds without getting some serious burns on his skin) they had packed up all that they could from both of their places in Jensen’s SUV and had started driving south, only stopping to yank all of the cash that they could from their bank accounts and to dump Jensen’s plates, sticking a fake in-transit sign in the windows.

“Do you remember how?” Jensen asks, eyes sharp on Jared even though the other man refused to return his gaze. “You’ve never talked about it, Jay … do you even know how?”

Jared sighs, leaning back heavily against the wall, eyes meeting Jensen’s slowly. “Jensen, we can’t do this, okay? We’ll find another way, all right? I’m not … I wouldn’t do that to you, man. Not ever.”

“Just answer the question, Padalecki,” Jensen replies, crossing his arms stubbornly. He weakly smiles, trying to sound sarcastic when he says, “Hey, if it’s bad enough, you’ll scare the idea right out of me, all right?” The effort falls flat, and Jensen can see Jared trembling from clear across the room.

When Jared finally does speak, his voice is low, choked with memories. His gaze is distant, as though he’s seeing everything happen again right in front of him. “I was driving home,” he says slowly, taking a deep breath to calm himself down before continuing. “I was driving back to your place, when I saw a car pulled over on the side of the road, safeties on. There was this … this girl, Jensen; couldn’t have been more than five-five, one-hundred and twenty pounds. Maybe. She was standing there, waving me down, and I pulled over, got out, went to see what was wrong.

“She said that her name was Jenna, that she was coming back from visiting some friends when her car stopped. I told her my name, asked her if she minded if I take a look.” Jared pauses and smiles weakly, ducking his head down. “I probably wouldn’t of offered, but … but she told me to call her Jen, and I was just thinking of you, and I … and I couldn’t not try to help.”

“Face it, Jared; you’re whipped,” Jensen replies, although it doesn’t really help ease the pain of the memories, but Jared’s smile widens into a grin momentarily before falling altogether as he starts to talk again.

“She said that she recognized me … I told her a little bit about the show, you know, thinking that maybe we could get another viewer out of the whole deal. And she … fuck, Jensen, she just smiled and laughed and said that she’d watched it a few times with her friends, thought it was cute. The vampire episode had just aired, and she said that everyone she had watched it with had gotten a real kick out of it.”

Jensen swallows thickly; he already knows where this is going, and someday … someday, no matter what happens, they might have to chance going back to Vancouver and looking up this Jenna bitch, make her pay for what she’d done to his friend. What she’d unknowingly done to the both of them.

“I didn’t really say anything; honestly, I thought she was a little off-putting, you know? Really over-confident, and besides, I was sort of in a rush to get back to your place.” Jared stops and smiles at Jensen, who blushes a little in return, and then continues his story. “But it wasn’t like I could just up and leave her like that anyways? So, I had her pop the hood, and while I was leaning over to get a better look, she just … she just leaned over, right next to me, and she said … fuck, Jen, she said –”

“You don’t have to talk about this, Jared,” Jensen cuts in the second that Jared starts to shake even more, laying down on his side on the bed and pulling one arm up in a clear invitation. “Come over here, Jared. Come on … I’ll take care of you. It’s okay.”

Jensen can’t quite track Jared’s movements as he races across the hotel room; one minute, he’s leaning against the farthest wall, and the next he’s in Jensen’s arms, facing him, cool tears dripping down onto Jensen’s skin as the older man pulls him close, wraps a leg over Jared’s hips to anchor him.

“She said that we had no idea what we were doing, that she would show me.” Jared’s eyes meet Jensen’s and fuck, his friend looks terrified. “She got a grip on my wrist, Jensen, and she was so little … but she was strong man, way stronger than me. She just … sort of threw me to the road, hidden behind her car, climbed up on top of me, and held me down.” Jared stops, takes a deep breath, and then says, “That’s when she bit me. And I was just … I was frozen, Jensen. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think … it’s like everything stopped. I could hear her drinking, Jen, I could hear her drinking my blood, and I couldn’t do anything.

“Things went really fuzzy after that; you know, I never once thought that I might die, you know? I wasn’t really thinking about anything, and the next thing I know, she’s got her wrist shoved half-way in my mouth, and I …” Jared trails off, licking his lips absently. “It was perfect. I forgot everything else in that second, because … because that moment, it was perfect. And she was smiling at me, I remember, and running her hand through my hair.”

Jared’s voice, the way he is telling this story to Jensen, is nearly hypnotic, and Jensen can’t help but to pull Jared just that much closer, licking his lips as though he can almost taste the blood there, a warm surge building in his stomach. His breath is coming in short little pants, and when he realizes that Jared’s stopped talking, he can’t stop himself; he pulls Jared’s face closer to his, lips nearly brushing the other man’s, and says, “Keep going, Jared. Please.”

If Jared is confused by Jensen’s odd behavior, he does well not to show it. Instead, he reaches out lightly with his tongue, licking at Jensen’s lips, the faint tang of copper almost enough to completely undo Jensen, who finds himself suddenly hard and straining in the confines of his jeans. “When I came back to, it was like everything was different. She wasn’t on top of me anymore; she was leaning against the car, rubbing at her wrist, staring at me. She was smiling, Jensen, and then she told me that now I would get the chance to find out the truth about what we did on the show. She got in her car and drove off before I could even do or say anything, man. Then I … that’s when I drove back to your place.”

If Jared has anything else to say, Jensen doesn’t give him a chance. Leaning forward that last inch or so, Jensen captures the younger man’s lips in a fierce, possessive kiss … one that Jensen completely and totally owns. Jared instantly becomes plaint under his hands – a new aspect of their relationship since the change, as though he thinks that as long as Jensen is in control, he won’t hurt him – and lets Jensen push him onto his back, Jared’s bare chest against Jensen’s shirt.

He’s never really played with Jared’s fangs before; whenever they would kiss, Jensen would pointedly ignore the two sharp points. But now he attacks them with vigor, running his tongue over them, beneath one and then the other, pressing upwards against one until he feels his tongue split, warmth filling both of their mouths. When Jared pulls away with a shocked gasp, there’s blood on his lips.

“Jared,” Jensen says slowly, trailing a slow line of kisses down the other man’s jaw, his neck and collarbones, leaving a small trail of blood in his wake, tongue throbbing weakly in his mouth. “Jared, please, you have to. I … Jared, you don’t have to be alone.”

Jared starts to shake again, and Jensen knows that he’s fighting with himself over this. He’s still not completely sure whether he wants Jared to agree with him or to push him away, but Jensen understands that they just can’t keep going on like this. Eventually, someone or something will catch up to them, and they need the protection of a group.

Pulling one of Jared’s nipples into his mouth, Jensen swirls his tongue around the raised peak of flesh, smiling against the other man’s chest when he hears Jared choked sound of pleasure. Biting his nipple brings out a similar noise, and soon enough Jensen can taste Jared’s own blood in his mouth. He knows that it’s not his own, despite his assumptions that all blood tastes the same (and really, really disgusting). Jared’s blood is sharp, like it’s got its own power inside, with no real describable taste. It’s instantly addicting; Jensen latches to the small wound he’s created, hands running up and down Jared’s sides as he tries to draw more blood from the bite mark.

Eventually, he registers the feel of hands on him, pushing him away, rolling him onto his back. Jensen comes back to himself with an inaudible snap, licking his lips and shuddering at the remaining taste there. Jared’s looking at him oddly, calculating, hands soft on Jensen’s skin but holding him down with enough force to keep him pinned. Jensen’s somewhat thankful; one glance at the blood smears on Jared’s chest has him arching underneath those hands, whining and wanting to get back at the wound. It’s as though Jared’s blood is a powerful drug, a strong aphrodisiac.

“Fuck, Jen,” Jared finally says, mouth hanging open, glittering eyes dark and full of lust. “You have no idea how good you look like this, with my blood on your lips.” Jared leans down, kissing him softly, not letting Jensen deepen the kiss, starting to take control for the first time in months. Although out of all the times Jensen would have wanted Jared to take the lead in bed, this time is definitely not it. Not when Jared pulls away before giving Jensen not even half of what he wanted from that kiss, smirking at the older man as he continues to struggle uselessly in the vampire’s grip.

“You could get used to the sight,” Jensen offers, giving Jared a serious look despite the fact that he’s so hard he might be in danger of busting some blood vessels in interesting places. “Jared, man, I –”

“Tell me you want this, Jensen,” Jared says, interrupting him, just looking at him. Jensen’s about to ask just what Jared means by this before the younger man cuts him off, making sure to flash his fangs as he speaks, face close to Jensen’s. “Tell me that you want to be like this.”

“I want it,” Jensen says, still not completely sure that he’s totally down with all the vampire-package comes equipped with, but at the same time, he wants Jared. In a forever sort of way. It’s more than just keeping them safe, he realizes. It’s about being Jared’s and … and Jensen finally gets that. He finally understands why Jared was holding back before, because it’s more than just being practical. It’s forever. “God, Jared, I want you.”

“Oh, you’ll have me, all right,” Jared says, smiling wider than Jensen’s seen him since the change, hell, maybe wider than he has ever seen Jared smile, period. His friend looks overjoyed, as though he’s lost a ten-ton weight on his shoulders, and if Jensen had any doubts about this, they’re totally and instantly gone. Just like that.

Jared’s mouth is back in his own with an intensity Jensen’s never felt before; it’s almost as though Jared’s trying to devour him, tongue twisting and moving alongside his own almost-viciously, re-opening the shallow wounds on his tongue until both of their mouths are filled with Jensen’s blood. It’s not really a big thing for Jen – honestly, he’d prefer it if Jared was the one bleeding, as weird as that sounds – but judging by the needy whimper Jared makes, it’s really doing something for his friend.

Jared’s hands are fisted in the front of Jensen’s shirt again, and there’s only a momentary sound of ripping before Jensen feels a rush of tepid air move across his suddenly-exposed back, pieces of his shirt still held tightly in Jared’s hands as the other man pulls back from the kiss, licking his lips as his eyes trail over the expanse of Jensen’s chest. “Need to have less clothes on, Jen,” Jared murmurs, ducking his head just a little and kissing at Jensen’s collarbone, sharp fangs indenting the skin there but not breaking it.

“Yeah, right back atcha,” Jensen replies, fingers doing their own exploring of Jared’s body, down his friend’s back and underneath the waistband of his sleeping pants, resting his palms flat against Jared’s behind and squeezing lightly. “How about we take care of these first, huh?”

With a quick look up at Jensen’s face and a wink, Jared quickly rolls away from Jensen and onto his back, chest and head propped up on the headboard, giving Jensen a perfect view as Jared slowly – excruciatingly slowly – peels away his pants, kicking them off of the bed once he has them off and leaning back to let Jensen get an eye-full. And boy, does Jensen ever. His fingers are twitching with the need to touch, taste, own.

“Careful, Jen,” Jared says, voice light and teasing. “You’re set to make me blush if you keep starin’ at me like that.”

“I’m set to make you do a whole lot more than blush, Jay,” Jensen replies, finally giving in to what he so desperately desires, reaching forward with one steady hand and wrapping his fingers loosely around Jared’s blood-red cock, thumbing over the slit and spreading the moisture he gathers there over the head of Jared’s erection, smiling devilishly when Jared whimpers and bucks into his hand.

“Tell me what you’re going to do to me, Jared,” Jensen whispers, not meeting Jared’s eyes, knowing that it would be all over for him if he met that intense, lust-heavy gaze right now, instead focusing on the sight of his fingers working Jared fast and hard, which is probably just as much of a turn-on as anything else. Jensen’s so hard he’s pretty sure that if they don’t get a move on soon, he’s going to be making a mess of his pants … oh well. It’s not like they can’t go out and buy a new pair for him anyways, but still, he’d rather come with Jared.

“G-going to ride you, Jen,” Jared says, stuttering as his hips arch into Jensen’s hand, fingers clutching at the bed sheets, knuckles white from the intensity of his hold. “Going to take you inside of me, and then … oh fuck Jensen … and then –”

“And then what?” Jensen asks, leaning forward and blowing a stream of cool air over Jared’s sweat-slick body, smiling again when he feels a shiver move up and down the other man’s frame. Jared’s legs spread even wider so that Jensen can settle more comfortably between his thighs, and a sharp twist of his hand on an upward stroke makes Jared cry out unintelligibly. “Tell me the rest, Jared. Then what are you going to do to me?”

“Then I’ll … I’ll lean forward, just enough to get at your throat.” And fuck, Jensen knows he’s making a mistake when he looks up at Jared’s face, but there’s no way he can’t, not with those kinds of words tumbling from the vampire’s sinful lips. Jared’s stare is intense, and his eyes are more like shining topaz in the semi-darkness of the room, the last vestiges of sunlight filtering in from behind the closed curtains, giving everything an almost unrealistic glow. “And then I’ll bite down … it’ll feel so good, Jensen; you won’t be able to think about anything else but how good it feels to have my teeth in you, while you’re inside of me. You’ll come from it, Jen … more than anything else, you’ll come from me biting you.”

Jensen’s breath hitches in his chest, and he grinds the heel of his palm painfully into his erection to keep himself from losing it right then and there. Just listening to Jared describe what he wants to do to Jensen is almost enough for him, but Jensen won’t let himself find any release, not in any way except for the way Jared’s planning it.

Honey-thick words still float around the room, and Jensen forces himself to calm down so he can hear Jared speaking, hand slowing on Jared’s cock when he feels it start to twitch in his hand. “And then … then I’ll move off of you, lay down right beside you, Jensen. You’re going to feel like you’re flying, man, I promise. You won’t even hear your heart stop, it goes so fast. I won’t give you my wrist, Jen … you’re more important to me than that. No, I’ll let you have my throat, let you drink from me until I can feel your fangs pressed against my skin.”

Jared pulls Jensen up so that his lips are brushing against the older man’s, his eyelashes fluttering against Jensen’s cheek, and Jensen forces himself to remember to breathe for fuck’s sake. “We’ll fuck again … we’ll look like murder victims with how much blood we’ll be covered in. I’ll lick you from head to toe, Jensen, I’ll lick you clean.”

Jensen pulls his hand away from Jared’s cock altogether, reaching for the lube on the bedside table instead. Pulling back, yet still keeping his gaze locked on Jared’s intent stare, he uncaps the small tube, squeezing out a generous amount onto his fingers before replacing the lube on the nightstand, smiling down at Jared. “Gonna roll over for me, Jare?” he asks, struggling to keep his tone light, teasing, but it comes out like more of a husky growl instead. “Gonna let me get you ready for me?”

Wordlessly, Jared rolls over, smirking back at Jensen over his shoulder as the other man lets his gaze travel up and down the length of Jared’s muscled back, down to the small of his back and the crease of his ass, his fingers following his eyes’ trail, leaving a sticky path of lube in their wake down Jared’s spine until his fingers are pressed, teasing, against Jared’s entrance.

The vampire moans hotly at this, pressing back against Jensen’s intruding digits until the first one slips past the tight ring of muscles guarding his entrance, in to the knuckle before Jensen even knows what’s happening. “Better go faster then that, Jensen,” Jared murmurs, mouth open, panting lightly. “M’gonna want to take you out before sunrise … we can catch some dinner together. You’ll be so pretty, Jensen, with those pretty green eyes of yours, that cocky smile. They’ll just throw themselves at you … but you’ll always know that you’re mine. No one else’s, right Jen?”

Another finger presses inside, cutting Jared’s words off as he gives out a long, drawn-out moan while Jensen starts to stretch him quickly, fingers working in and out of Jared’s body with intent. “Just yours, Jared,” Jensen says, mind pleasantly buzzing with the thought of that, of belonging to Jared and no one else. Of Jared being his and his alone … he could really get into that.

“Oh fuck, Jensen,” Jared whines, pressing harder against the other man’s fingers, trying to get him deeper, back arching as Jensen feels the small bundle of nerves against the tip of his middle finger. Jensen smirks and presses against Jared’s prostate again, feeling the shudders all throughout Jared’s body.

“Jesus, Jen … I’m ready. Fuck, I’m ready for you,” Jared says, not moving away from Jensen’s fingers but giving him a stare that lets Jensen know what he needs to do. Going slowly, drawing it out as long as he can, Jensen pulls his fingers from Jared’s body with a wet pop, reaching for the fly of his jeans with the non-sticky hand, fumbling with the denim and letting out a frustrated growl.

Jared’s lilting laughter reaches his ears, and Jensen looks up, a scowl on his face. “Oh, laugh it up, wontcha?” he says, eyes darting back down just in time to see Jared’s fingers reaching towards the front of his pants, easily batting his own hands away as the younger man climbs to his knees, undoing Jensen’s jeans in record time and pushing them – along with his boxers – down to his knees.

“Roll over,” Jared murmurs, helping to push Jensen on his back. Crawling off of the bed, Jared manages to pull the remainder of Jensen’s clothes off, watching the other man through half-lidded eyes as Jensen wraps his still-slick fingers around his own cock, hissing with pleasure as his fingers come in contact with his long-neglected erection. “Fuck, Jen, you have no idea how pretty you look like that, with your fingers wrapped around yourself so tightly,” Jared says, eyes traveling over Jensen’s entire body hungrily.

“I bet it’s not half as pretty as you look when you’re riding me, Jared,” Jensen throws back, hips arching into his own hand as he continues to pump himself languidly. “That’s a sight I’d sure like to see, if you don’t have any problems with that.”

“No,” Jared says, licking his lips as he crawls on his hands and knees back onto the bed, over Jensen’s body until his face is level with Jensen’s again, tracing the seam of the other man’s open lips with his tongue softly. “No, I don’t have any problems with that at all.”

Jensen pulls his hand away from his cock as Jared starts to settle into place, straddling Jensen’s stomach as he moves himself upwards, hovering over Jensen’s erection. Jensen grabs a hold of Jared’s hips, helping to ease the vampire down, both of them moaning as the head of Jensen’s cock presses past the ring of muscles and into the cool warmth of Jared’s body, which holds him in like a glove.

“I love you,” Jensen blurts out suddenly, too quickly, having not thought about the words or even about saying them, blushing and ducking his head when he sees Jared’s eyes snap back up to meet his, staring and intense as always.

Jared’s laugh is the next thing that Jensen hears, but it’s neither mocking or mean; it’s a genuinely happy laugh, the same kind they used to share with one another a lifetime ago on the set or in one of their respective trailers. “Yeah, I know you do, Jen,” Jared replies, hissing softly as he sinks down the rest of the way onto Jensen, until his ass is flush against Jensen’s hips, completely seated on his cock. “And you know … you know that I do too. That is – ” and clearly, being a graceful and other worldly vampire had done nothing for Jared’s eloquence, not that Jensen minds in the slightest, “I mean, I love you too.”

“Fuck,” Jensen growls, hips snapping up, trying to get Jared to start moving, almost unable to bear the stillness, body tense and aching for some kind of motion, some kind of relief. “This is really touching and all, Jared, really,” he says sarcastically, “but it’s really not the same kind of touching I’m really wanting right now, if you get what I’m sayin.’”

“Oh, I hear you, Jen,” Jared replies, placing his hands on Jensen’s shoulders, leaning forward so that his body moves up, off of Jensen’s cock until it’s almost completely out, then sinking back down again. “God, you feel so good inside of me, Jensen.”

“Oh yeah?” Jensen says, swallowing the thick lump in his throat, heart pounding wildly in his chest as Jared starts up a gentle rhythm – not as fast as he would like, but still mind-numbingly amazing – rocking up and down on Jensen’s cock until he’s barely aware of anything but the feel of the other man’s inner muscles working around him. “Tell me about it?”

Jared’s breath hitches, and Jensen knows that he’s hit the spot again, and as Jared moves back down, Jensen cants his hips up slightly, nudging the other man’s prostate once more and causing Jared to moan softly, deep in his throat. “So full of you, Jensen … never let anyone else do this to me but you, never.” Jared’s eyes meet his, and Jensen knows – without a single doubt – that Jared’s telling him the God’s honest truth. It would be a lie for him to say that he isn’t secretly thrilled about this revelation, not that he would ever say anything about it to Jared; one embarrassing slip-up during sex was all he’d ever allow himself.

“Feels good then?” Jensen asks, fingers pressed so tightly into Jared’s hips that he’s sure that if the other man were still completely human, they’d leave bruises by morning. He can feel his orgasm building, almost embarrassingly quickly, and he tries to still Jared’s movements, tries to draw this out as long as he possibly can, not willing for this to end just yet.

“Feels amazing,” Jared replies, smirking as he realizes exactly what Jensen’s trying to do. He makes a tsk-ing sound, waving a finger in front of Jensen’s eyes – one that Jensen gets the most insane urge to nip at. Jared’s finger easily slips past his lips and for a second, all he can taste is sweat, and then his teeth clamp down, releasing Jared’s addictive blood from beneath. It’s not much, just a little wound, but still, Jensen sucks at it as though not having a taste would mean the difference between life or death.

Judging by Jared’s sudden giggles – really not fitting considering Jensen’s about to blow his load just from sucking on Jared’s finger (although his cock up Jared’s ass might have a bit to do with that as well) – the younger man is getting a different idea from Jensen’s enthusiasm. “Man, going to have to try this again when you don’t have to breathe no more,” Jared says almost conversationally (almost because right as he says it, Jensen moves his hips up again and Jared’s muscles tighten impossibly around his cock, letting him know that he’s right on target). “You’ll be able to take my cock in all the way down, never have to worry about choking on it.”

Regretfully, Jensen lets the digit slip out of his lips, which are shiny with blood and spit. “You’re giving yourself a little too much credit, Padalecki,” he says mockingly, grunting when another thrust makes every muscle on his body simultaneously tighten up.

“You think so?” Jared asks, wrapping his hand around his own erection, spit and blood and precome coating the entire surface as he jerks himself in time with his movements, leaning back so that he’s more heavily seated on Jensen’s cock, which moves even more impossibly deeper inside Jared’s body.

“Bet you’re close,” Jared says, looking down at Jensen through half-open eyes, hand moving faster on his own cock as he moves up and down on top of Jensen. Jensen himself is unable to answer, having been reduced to pitiful whines and moans as every cell in his body seems to shake and shudder to their foundations, until nothing matters to him except for the slick-slide of Jared moving up and down his cock. “Are you close, Jen?”

The answer that Jensen gives him somewhat resembles yes, and Jared’s eyes take on an even darker glow as he curls his lips back, fangs fully visible and glinting. “Are you ready, Jen?” Jared asks, tone serious despite the fact that both of them are on the very brink of orgasm. “No going back after this.”

Somehow, Jensen manages to find a couple of brain cells that aren’t currently on their way to shoot out of his dick, and he grinds out, “Jesus fuck, Jared, yes. Do it.”

“Okay,” is all that Jared says, and he stops his movements altogether as he lurches forward, laying heavily on top of Jensen’s chest. Jensen is still trying desperately to find release in Jared’s body, finding enough distance between their hips for him to thrust inside of the other man’s body, hips moving fast and furiously up and down, entire body tense and ready, just needing a few more times, a few more seconds, and then –

Jared’s teeth suddenly bury themselves into the side of Jensen’s throat, and it’s simultaneously the most painful and pleasurable thing Jensen’s ever felt in his entire life. He’s vaguely aware of himself coming deep inside the vampire’s body, hips still moving on their own accord, a rush of cool semen suddenly in between their bodies, but really, almost all of his attention is being drawn to the two points on his neck. Jared’s hands are tight – painfully so – on his shoulders, holding him down, and Jensen can hear the other man drinking from him, even as everything else around him starts to fade and fall away until there’s nothing but Jared.

He feels like he’s flying. The sensation … it’s indescribable. His body is weightless, completely limp, and a part of him just wants this to go on and on forever. Minutes that stretch on into eternities themselves pass by, and the faint sounds of Jared drinking fade into the background as a numb buzzing feeling takes precedence, takes control of everything that Jensen is.

And then suddenly, it’s gone. Jensen would cry out, but he can’t speak, can’t move, can’t do anything but just lay there and let the numbness carry him. He doesn’t register the movement of the bed, the now-warmer hands handling him until he’s on his side, leaning heavily on Jared’s body as the vampire – blood smeared down his chin and all over his lips – messily claws into the side of his own neck, until the blood starts pouring from the wound freely.

In fact, Jensen doesn’t feel or notice anything at all until his mouth is pressed to the wound, and then nothing else matters. An explosion of taste and richness falls across his tongue, and all of his senses suddenly seemed drawn to the point where his and Jared’s bodies are connected. The numb buzz changes until it’s more like a static charge all over his body, like he’s been plugged into some machine. His entire body tingles. With a surge of strength he didn’t even know that he possessed, Jensen bites down hard, more blood filling his mouth until he can barely swallow it down anymore, until it’s running in rivets down his chin and onto Jared, the bed below.

One by one, things start coming back to him. The tingling abandons him, and suddenly he can feel things again; his hands are tight on Jared’s shoulders, tucked under the other man’s arms, pulling him close, a leg is thrown over Jared’s hip. Next comes sight; the room is bright, far brighter than it had been just moments ago. He can see Jared, see how his eyes are closed and his mouth is hanging open, see the trembling in his body. Smell, hearing, taste all return in due time as well, sharper and clearer than he ever thought possible. He can hear the conversation the people in the room next to him are having, he can smell the blood, the sex in the room, and he can taste the blood on his lips.

The blood.

With a regretful sigh, Jensen finally detaches himself from Jared’s throat, watching in awe as the flesh around the wound quickly knits itself together, until there is no trace left on Jared’s skin. His eyes move up to meet Jared’s, which are now open, tears making them glitter more than normal, a smile on his lips.

“Hey there,” Jared says, and even though his voice is soft, barely above a whisper, Jensen can hear him perfectly. “How’re you doin’ in there?”

Jensen doesn’t answer right away; doesn’t know what he could possibly say to describe exactly what he is feeling right now. He licks at his lips and swallows, still stuck on the utterly addicting taste of Jared’s blood; his tongue catches on an unfamiliar point in his mouth, and when he raises a finger to investigate, he feels a fang – and then two – sharp and small against the pad of his finger.

“I know, it’s kind of crazy at first,” Jared continues, speaking as though Jensen had replied, voice tired and worn-out. “You get pretty used to it after awhile.”

“Jared,” Jensen says quietly, surprised at how differently his own voice sounds, even to him. He reaches forward with his fingers, like a blind man, grabbing at Jared and pulling him tightly against him, relaxing only when Jared’s arms completely encircle him, holding him tightly.

“Shh,” Jared whispers, lips pressed close to Jensen’s ear. “We have time, Jen … we have all the time we need.”